To all my amazing friends and family who are getting more and more frustrated with me not getting back to them via text, whatsapp, emails or any other kind of communication.
I love you. I think about you all the time, every day. Those of you who live far away, I miss you like crazy. I wish we all lived together in one little village. I wish I could bump into you on the street, I wish we could sit on the steps and have a cuppa while Millar runs amok.
The thing is, it’s almost impossible during the day to send you the message that I so want to and you so want to hear and here’s why.
When I have Millar, I’m not on my phone. The last thing I want her to see is me constantly on the phone. Our time together is precious and I’m sure you understand that my communication with her has to come first.
When I’m at breakfast / lunch / dinner with another person, I am not on my phone. I fear that technology is creating a giant wedge between us all and could be making us more alone. When I’m with somebody, I want to hear everything they have to say and get excited about all their news. I want to look at their face when they tell me happy things, not down at a small screen.
That then only leaves when:
Millar is at nursery = I have FF work. I have house work and washing and planning and shopping and cooking and planning and running out of precious time. And obviously I have to put photos on FB so you know I am still alive and happy and haven’t run off with aliens.
Millar is in bed = for the 2 maybe 3 hours I get once she goes to bed I have to fit in eating, tidying (as always) and I actually just want to stare at the wall in silence. Or, I might get to go out.
Please, please, please still be my friend and appreciate that I just can’t get back to you very much (hardly at all) for the next… I don’t know how many years.
I really hope you understand and still want to be in my life and I’m sorry for being so frustrating. When she goes to Uni, things will improve, I promise.